Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
