her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I swear I get as excited about the sound of a condom wrapper as my cat gets when she's getting a can of food.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
