There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
