You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
