I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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