This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
I can't turn off my feet"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
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