I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
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I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
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