this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
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you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
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Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
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