jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Randomize
