im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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