My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize
