Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
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