Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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