Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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