I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize
