you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
