this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize
