Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
