Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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