I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
Lady GaGa only went backwards in convincing me she's not a man at the VMAs.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
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Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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