so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Randomize
