went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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