we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I have aggressive nipples.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
