Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
3pm strippers are depressing
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
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