Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.