i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...