Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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