the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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