I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
