Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
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