nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
