oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Randomize
