Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
i black out too much to be "responsible"
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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