I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
