he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Randomize
