you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
