Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
I'm always down for nudity.
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