I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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