They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Randomize
