Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
