Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
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