when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Apparently I tried my hand at mustard juggling. I wasn't very good.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
