how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
We smell like vodka and hangover
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