I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
