I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Every concussion has its silver lining
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
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