ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Randomize
