This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We were destined to go to rehab together
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
