Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
He just walked in on me naked with a beer in my hand eating a calzone in bed. If he wasn't in love with me before...
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
