Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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