dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
People in love make me want to vomit
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
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