Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
