the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
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It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
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On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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