Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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