your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
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