guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
We got so high we made milksteak
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
True strength comes from lack of pants
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
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