I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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