NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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