Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(831): View more from California

My boss' voice literally gives me gas

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(732): View more from New Jersey

I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people

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(870): View more from Arkansas

I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..

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(727): View more from Florida

I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(732): View more from New Jersey

you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."

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(319): View more from Iowa

By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"

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(816): View more from Missouri

Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.

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(267): View more from Pennsylvania

In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.

(267): View more from Pennsylvania

You should probably take note of that and make it happen.

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(907): View more from Alaska

Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.

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