i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
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I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
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my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people