now i know why i became what i already was.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night