Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
