she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Randomize
