vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
I wasn't interested in him...but then he played The Office theme song on acoustic guitar. I'm sorry.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
