you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
