I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
