I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
