yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
