Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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