I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
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