I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
He won't let me have sex with him, but feels bad if I won't let him get me off. It is the weirdest, best, most confusing pseudo relationship I've been in.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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