very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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